1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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