Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize