please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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