My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize