so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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