Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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