Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
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Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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