Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize