They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize