by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize