o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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