What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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