I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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