I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize