No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
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She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
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I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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