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who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
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