I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I supernannyed him into submission
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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