yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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