he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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