Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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