Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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