wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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