Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize