Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize