I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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