i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize