he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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