i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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