You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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