I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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