physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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