Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
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Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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