hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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