Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
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just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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