this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize