I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize