I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
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He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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