I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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