So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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