the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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