my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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