Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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