Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
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Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize