Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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