If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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