Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
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I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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