I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
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I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
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I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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