any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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