test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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