Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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